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A day in the PPM life of skeptimist

追加: 18.07.2014 00:00:00 | カテゴリー: マガジン - インタビュー

The following is a story submitted to me by skeptimist. Enjoy.

"Son of a b....." A common phrase that goes through my mind as i roll over and realize it's 4am and i'm wide awake, again. It wasn't the smell of coffee brewing that arose me from me slumber, no mystery here, this morning was going to be a drag. I stand up and make my way into the kitchen and start the coffee. Already sensing i'm overly stressed, depressed and overall pissy, and i've only been awake 2 minutes. Stop thinking about the seemingly never ending custody battle that haunts the innermost parts of your mind.... NOT TODAY!! Not going there. Coffee's up, but out of sugar, hows this possibru? S.O.B!

I grab a cigarette that i swore 14 years ago i'd never pick up again....Lets get this morning started. Coffee in hand, i stroll down the dark hallway to my office, nearly tripping over a streaking cat as it's running for it's life from the "obvious to all but the cat",playful German Shepherd.....SOB!....that was close, almost there, hold it together.....

Log into PPM, Ahhh, home sweet home. I ponder all the new messages and think to myself, "don't click on it, you already know what it says", but like a moth attracted to a bright light, i'm drawn in and click it anyways. Theres 4 seconds of my morning i'll never get back, yet i'm amused by my inability to resist. First smile of the day. I make my way to the league page and browse the standings, knowing full well the laws of nature still apply and there was no overnight miracle that placed my lackluster team at the top of the charts. This is the point in which i often wonder why i promoted to a league i can't be competitive in, i haven't the money to afford swag players, I lack the systematic discipline to resist that 2/6 behemoth about to sell for "cheap", negating the fact he's going to cost me $75k per day, FORGETTING the fact i spent 2 weeks saving for todays TA upgrade. S.O.B! Incapable of resisting the unrestrained urge to log out,i retreat back to the kitchen for more coffee muttering to myself, " never make a financial decision prior to the 2nd cup of coffee"!

3 hours later, after watching the cat plotting how to kill the dog, one phone call from the city informing me i have a water leak on my property and I have to foot the bill entirely,even though they can't tell me where the leak actually is..... S.O.B! I log back in to escape. "AHHH yes", properly reminded of how i screwed up my game plan earlier, I proceed with a bit more caution. Why? I've no idea. I just blew half of what i had saved and haven't enough money left to hurt myself further. Guess it's the ole "better safe than sorry mentality" that seemingly only kicks in AFTER i have royally kicked myself in the sack. I smile for the second time today, as i laugh at myself, "it's not that bad, after all, theres tomorrow and you'll have another opportunity to do worse,enjoy the moment".

I decide it's time to graze upon the incalculable ponderings of others located in the forums. Ahh, familiar names, Vlady, yep, i bet i've irritated him atleast once, i'll avoid this topic. Must resist urge to comment...must resist!! NEXT! More familiar names, Tescosamoa, Lanky552, Capsaicin, Cory Martin and Bulls4ever, doing what they do best, debating which came first in PPM, the chicken or the egg. Must read, I might learn something. This generally leaves me feeling one of two ways after reading, the "suddenly reminded how i went about things completely wrong", OR " Hmmm, that's a good point, time to start watching their accounts as i would watch my own. Learn grasshopper, learn! Time to get busy with real life again, smile dissipates.

I proceed with the days requirements, attorneys, more attorneys, more legal nonsense that defies logic. Now a battered and mentally beaten man, i toss caution to the wind, i purchase two $25 scratch off lottery tickets and being a thoughtful, yet easily aggravated man these days, i decide to pick up some lunch for my girlfriend and drop it off at her office. After 42 years i've learned a few tricks, brownie points are a good thing, never know when you may need to use them, nudge nudge, wink wink. Mission a huge success! Tonight's now looking promising. I rule!! I smile again.

I make it home and walk in the door to be greeted by the dog sitting on the cat, no idea how long this has been going on, somewhat amused and convinced the cat deserved it, i turn a blind eye and walk past to my office. Ignoring the cats cries for help, i shut the door and log in to PPM. I smile, and i can't even tell you why. But i imagine it's sorta like a junkie finding his fix, pure bliss. Just in time to see todays game summary, i prepare myself as todays game could go either way, i mean, what are the odds the team in 15th place will beat my 12th place team? Confident i have this, i click the summary button..... S.O.B! I lost by 5 goals? WTH? I exit out to the main page as the pain is unbearable. This was my fatal undoing....I have a new message, my best defensive player got injured.....S.O.B!!! Ok, not gonna let this get me down....Oh yeah, suddenly remembering i purchased two expensive scratch off lottery tickets, i run back out to my car and can only find one of the two. I search high and low, cannot find the other, conceding that it will turn up sooner or later i retreat back to my office with a quickened pace, sadistically drawn to my corner in hell, I scratch off my ticket, not a winner!! Oh well, atleast i've got PPM....log back in.

With nothing really left to do i find my way back to the forums, ahhh, another familiar name, Canucks357. I think to myself, "This poor guy, if he had a dollar for each email i've sent him asking for help sorting out my screw ups, he could have bought a $25 scratch off too". It's not long after that, that my cell phone rings, it's April, my girlfriend. Debating if "i'm available at the moment", i answer her call for what must be a request that involves some sort of physical labor in the hot Florida sun, why else would she be calling? My brain kicks into overdrive hopelessly searching for any reasonable excuse to delay any promises of completing any task that lacks an air conditioned space.

Me: "Hey there"

April: OMFG, I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH!

Me: Brain now completely melted " Uhhhh, ok?" ( wth did i do that i can't recall? this isn't normal)

April: I won honey, I WON!! I can't believe it! That scratch off you put in my lunch won $500!!!

ME: S.O.B!!!!

Now fully disgusted with myself, and the fact i accidentally gave her MY scratch off, that would have paid for the unexpected water leak.....I log back into my "PPM escape". I sit and stare at each players seeming apparent lack of practice growth with the same amount of facination one might expect of a young child during their first introduction to a gaming console. Inevitably drawn back to the same player day after day, "WTH is with this guy? " 360 shooting and failed to score a single goal all season? Screw it, i'll deal with him tomorrow. And thus the process begins again, calculating the days needed to achieve desired growth, i find myself lost in the world of numbers, odds, misconceptions and self revealing patience as mediocre goals are being met, slowly, my team IS getting better despite my never ending compromises with self inflicted mayhem . I refocus my goals after taking into account today's early morning blunder, I CAN recover, all is not lost. I smile once again, relishing the anticipation of rinsing & repeating for another season.... Ahhhh, home sweet home.

PPM, you are my escape, and I thank you.

Sincerely, Skeptimist Aka: RAMPAGE.

記入者: skeptimist | 発行者: PPMチームの仲間