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Go Leafs!


As I mentioned long ago in my first article in PPM Magazine I am firmly a Toronto Maple Leafs fan, through and through. I also mentioned that I might write about my team from time to time, but as anyone with cursory attention to the NHL knows in the last couple seasons my Leafs have done (what I hope is) their very best to test the mettle of Leaf fans everywhere. In this short time they have taken spectacular failure to depths unimaginable on multiple occasions, and worse don't seem to have learnt a single thing from it. And yet here I sit as loyal as ever, and it gets me to thinking there is an exposition in there to share as previously promised to anyone curious.

So here it is...

As a longtime citizen and active civil servant in “Leafs Nation” it's hard for me to imagine what fans of other NHL teams genuinely make of me and my fellow Leaf fans. Sure there is the usual basic tribal give and take; the chirpy digs about mental capacity or misplaced priorities and values. But surely it must be puzzling for most to see such systemically consistent (and again, recently uber-spectacular) on-ice failure by the Leafs year after year, decade after decade translate into disproportionate devotion compared to virtually all other NHL teams.

What is up with that? I'm quite serious with this question. By virtually any objective measure the Leafs more than any other professional sports team in North America should have the absolute least fans. In the last half-century no professional sports team in any other North American league has rewarded such huge market support with so little success. The only team that comes close is the Chicago Cubs, and while they are arguably worse with regards to success their fanbase does not hold a candle to the Leafs in size and breadth.

And so obviously it goes almost without saying that the Toronto Maple Leafs organization does not remotely deserve this surplus of support. From the Ballard years through the ensuing decades of nearly constant new ways to disappoint fans to the present innovations in spectacular mismanagement the Leafs have consistently shown that never in the field of human conflict has so much been owed to so many by so few (my apologies to the estate of Winston Churchill, by the way). And yet here we remain almost as common and numerous across Canada and the USA as cockroaches, residing in appreciable numbers in virtually every nation and up until recently even in space, steadfast as ever, resolute through all the teeth-grinding, brow-furrowing, head-scratching, face-palming madness.

Why?

Why indeed.

Could it be the history and tradition of this team? During the Original Six era the Leafs were a genuine force, second only to the Montreal Canadiens. Today it's common enough for hipster Habs fans to boast about the history and tradition of their team even though they really haven't been much to crow about for over twenty years. But it would take more than a pretentious hipster, it would take a deluded fetishist to trumpet any sort of Toronto Maple Leaf history and tradition. Only senior citizens could have significant memories to cling to of a Leaf team and organization that is worthy of such respect. There's a reason why Bon Jovi is getting banners hung in the ACC and not the resident NHL team. History and tradition is a factor, but it is a relatively small and shrinking one at best.

Considering the Leafs operate in the largest hockey market probably in the world is it peer pressure or pack mentality that sustains and swells our numbers? People are social animals, and it wouldn't surprise me in the least that a significant number of Leaf fans are only so because practically everybody else in South West Ontario are as well. It would certainly explain the existence of so much misinformed, misguided, and simply ignorant opinions of Leaf players, staff and executives that pop up with every all-too-common misstep by the team. Peer pressure and pack mentality could and probably does explain the prevalence of fans in Ontario, but it doesn't explain the perhaps enviable number of fans that populate every other hockey market making their presence irrefutably noticed at virtually every away game.

Is it that the Leafs have become, much like the aforementioned Cubs, lovable losers? It would seem in Canada we are more inclined to pull for the underdog: Being a neighbour to the world's richest and most powerful nation instils that kind of mentality, for better or worse. But that does not explain the rivers of spilled ink, both material and cyber by professionals and amateurs alike, that gushes forth over the inadequacies of this perennially lacklustre team. Moreover unlike the Cubs the Leafs have not actively embraced this losing ability as some kind of badge of honour. But I do believe there is something about the Leafs lack of success that definitely resonates with the fanbase.

So are we collectively some mild form of masochist then? Considering the endless disappointment the team has mastered at serving to its fans it could be the only reasonable conclusion. From my own experience with countless fans throughout Ontario, across Canada and even in numerous countries across the globe the one commonality we express or eventually agree upon is the near hopelessness of our beloved Leafs. Our level of understanding into the how's and why's of this hopelessness and the degree to which it exists vary considerably, which usually leads to a comparison and discussion of hypotheses. But with rare exception the conclusion invariably remains much the same and readily agreed upon: The Leafs basically stink, have mostly stunk for quite a while, and they probably won't stop stinking for some time to come.

But instead of depression or sour grapes an interesting thing usually happens after any such communion; wry smiles, chuckles, even genuine laughter. Evidently tragedy and comedy are very much two sides of the same coin after all. So while perhaps too many Leaf fans faced with these prospects do not laugh but rather cry (and pout or lash out in fits of petulance and/or wounded dignity) with disproportionate volume and reach provided by our sensationalistic media they are nevertheless roughly to be found in the first two groups mentioned above: deluded history/tradition fetishists and pack mentality ignoramuses. For the rest of us I believe it is this resignation to the all but inevitable that leads to a healthy amount of and appreciation for self-deprecation and flirtations with cynical and darkish humour (FYI excellent examples can be found in Steve Dangle and Sean McIndoe).

Therefore I believe it is this seemingly endless source of clean but slightly twisted amusement that keeps many of the most ardent and otherwise sensible Leaf fans loyal. Furthermore, like anything else that consistently draws a good laugh, it apparently attracts ever more into the fold as their craptastic ineptitude keeps rolling on year after year, decade after decade. Mind you none of this attitude totally precludes hope in your average Leaf fan, but it does mitigate it to a degree that to the uninitiated one might think it was actually completely gone.

Which is why I say I would be almost disappointed if this continuation of woefulness were to one day stop.

Almost, I say.